Hello Alexa!
26.06.2013
[Indonesian] Where should I go?
Ok, untuk kali gw bakal post dalam bahasa pertama gw, karena gw lagi males untuk translate ke Inggris (tapi yakin banget sih pasti bakal tetep ada sedikit kalimat-kalimat dalam bahasa Inggris). Anyways, jadi yang mau gw bahas hari ini apa sih? Well ini adalah suatu hal yang tiba-tiba muncul di pikiran gw.
Pernah ga sih kalian tuh bingung banget tentang suatu pilihan? Pernah ga kalian ada di situasi dimana lo lagi punya mimpi besar, cuman kayaknya lo ga bisa atau ga punya resources untuk mencapai mimpi kalian itu? Gw sering banget. Waktu gw mau masuk kuliah, tentu aja gw pengen masuk uni ini uni itu, cuman emang keadaan finansial waktu itu ga memungkinkan buat gw masuk ke uni yang keren banget (karena yang keren itu biasanya mahal). Dan jangan salah artiin keren, keren disini maksud gw itu adalah keren dimana kampusnya menyediakan kurikulum yang bertaraf internasional, yang image nya udah cukup diketahui dan emang istilahnya jebolan uni itu tuh pasti bakal dapat kerja deh. So there I am, with my dreams, pengen masuk disana sini, dengan satu uni yang jadi target utama gw.
Terus udah di keadaan dengan banyaknya pilihan, kita seringkali jadi bingung, mau ngikutin kemauan utama kita ato serahin ke Tuhan. Seringkali sih kita bilang, terserah Tuhan deh mau bawa kemana, tapi sadar ga sadar, dibalik perkataan itu sebenarnya ada sebuah pesan dimana kita sebenarnya mau bilang gini, Tuhan gw mau kesini nih, tolong buat jadi nyata yah. PADAHAL, tujuan atau target utama kita itu BUKAN rencana Tuhan.
Kenapa? Karena kita keseringan ngelihat dengan kacamata manusia. Maksudnya apa? Maksudnya adalah kita terlalu sering melihat dengan cara pandang manusia, kita melihat penilaian manusia. Karena dunia ini mengatakan A itu yang terbaik, jadi kita juga mau dapetin A. But it doesn't work that way with God.
Tuhan punya rencana yang jauh lebih indah dibandingkan dengan rencana manusia! Apa yang menurut manusia terbaik, belum tentu yang terbaik untuk kita menurut Tuhan. Emang yang bakal kita dapetin itu bisa dinilai manusia sebagai hal yang biasa-biasa aja, nilainya masih ga bagus-bagus banget. Tapi rencana Tuhan ga berhenti disitu. Hidup kita udah dirancang sedemikian rupa oleh Tuhan, bahkan sampai nafas terakhir kita udah Tuhan rancang. Dan gw yakin banget, segala sesuatu pasti dimulai dari hal yang kecil, hal yang sederhana, hal yang dinilai manusia sebagai sesuatu yang sama sekali ga wah, tapi dibelakang itu semua, ada rancangan yang lebih mulia.
Terus gimana dong? Kalo emang kayak gitu, apa yang seharusnya gw lakuin? My answer would be, fast, pray and ask Him! Dan sebenarnya ini adalah point terpenting. Kenapa? Kadang kita cuma bilang aja, terserah Tuhan mau dibawa kemana, tapi kita ga pernah actually berdoa dan nanya ke Tuhan, Dia maunya bawa kita kemana. Bener ga? Kita cuma bilang doang di mulut kita terserah Tuhan, tapi kita ga pernah bener-bener berdoa dan nanya ke Tuhan! Dan kenapa puasa? kata om Ronny D. Simeon, puasa adalah saat dimana kita menempatkan diri kita pada frekuensi yang sama dengan Tuhan supaya kita bisa mendengar apa kata Tuhan.
Kita ini bukan tuhan, jadi kita ga bakal bisa tahu apa mau Tuhan kalo kita ga tanya sama Dia! Tanya deh, pasti dijawab, ga mungkin engga. Jalan Tuhan itu ga ada yang tahu arahnya kemana, terus lewat mana. Rencana Tuhan itu kayak sebuah petualangan menjelajahi hal baru. Jadi daripada kita ngerasain apa yang udah orang lain rasain, kenapa ga kita ikutin apa kata Tuhan, dan ngerasain hal-hal yang belum pernah orang lain rasain sebelumnya.
Jadi, gw ga boleh bermimpi gitu? No. Feel free to have big dreams! Tapi inget, jangan paksa Tuhan untuk me-realize mimpi kita, yang ternyata bukan rencanaNya. Just tell Him what we want. Dan ingat, selalu bersyukur dengan apapun yang Ia berikan. Apa yang dinilai manusia ga berharga, bisa jadi adalah suatu hal yang sangat berharga bagi Tuhan.
happy sunday all.
love, femme.
Day 02 - Where I'd Like To Be In 10 Years
10 years from now huh? That means I'll be at the age of 30... I wish to be:
1. Graduated from both my Bachelor's Degree and my Master's Degree - well I counted that by the age of 22 I'll be graduating from my Bachelor's Degree. And then I'm gonna go straight off to take my Master's Degree in Australia, Switzerland or Canada.
2. Working in IT-IS-Biz Consulting Firm, outside of Indonesia of course - right now I'm planning to settle my life after the whole tertiary education in Australia. But then I'm also interested in living Europe.. Sooooo, I don't know. I may have plans now, but I'll let God take me wherever He wants me to be at.
3. Married! - Yea, I'm planning to marry at the age of 25. Hahaha.. But we'll see about this one. Hopefully I can meet with the right guy at the right timing :D
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| photo courtesy of Chrisya KF |
5. A mother to at least one child - Yep, since I am hoping I will be married by age of 25, so I'm hoping that by the age of 30 I will have one child already. It doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl, I just want a child of my own. Definitely can't wait! Hahaha..
Good News!!
So... from late February until early April I went through this candidate selection for a competition in Singapore this May. At first I wasn't really sure about it, whether I'm capable and actually a perfect fit (or at least suited) candidate to represent my university, but then I thought rather than regretting seeing someone else go might as well just give my best to it.
From individual selection until group selection I managed to pass all of it. And finally it came down to the very last selection... At that moment I realized that I wanted to be a part of the competition and as a representative for my uni real bad, so I tried giving the best I could (although I know I'm not yet like the senior ones). Then it came down to the part where we had to wait for the announcement. Definitely jitters! But at the same time the desire to be a part of it becomes stronger. At that time all I could do was pray that I can pass the last round of selection.
Well I guess my prayer was heard by God and...
This is quiet a big thing for me, as I am actually a newbie in this field, but now I'm competing with other universities from around the world. Thrilling much! Not forgetting to mention that last year our senior won 2nd place, so I assume the uni wants us to at least be at the same place or even better FIRST PLACE. (´_`。)
But whatever. Just gotta give our best anyway, and beat the other univs! And definitely wish us luck for the competition!
P.S. I will be leaving with Ka Cynthia and Ka Kalyana, since we are competing in groups :)
What you see isn't always what you get
A few days ago, one of my friend asked me a question. The question was that, "do you still think about your dad?" And my answer was, "yea, definitely. Almost all the time. Why?"
Now here's the kinda-shocking-but-actually-not-really statement that my friend said, "you don't seem like someone who've lost their father."
I don't know for sure what my friend has in mind, but what I'm assuming is that my friend sees the joyful and super-happy faces of mine almost everyday, and so my friend thinks that I'm not thinking about my dad.
Well actually. I do think about my dad a lot, I remember the days where I used to hug his big belly, how I used to sleep next to him and listening the beat of his heart, how I hold his hand while he drives, I remember it all. And now that he's no longer here on earth, I do feel that I'm missing him.
Loosing him may have changed my life, but one thing for sure is that, him leaving doesn't mean that I have to let go of my joy. Infact, why should I? I know that he's in a better place now, I know that he's with God, so why should I be sad right?
All I wanna point out here is that, just because I can still smile and laugh, that doesn't mean I've forgotten about my dad. No. I just know that he's in a better place, that's why I smile.
And dad, I do miss you, and I will always miss you.
-your one and only bonjer








