femmesabaru-New-York-Times

Untuk post kali ini akan gw tulis dalam bahasa Indonesia (karena otak lagi lebih produktif dalam bahasa Indonesia -- alasan macam apa ini? Hahaha). Tapi seperti biasa, pasti ada sisipan-sisipan bahasa Inggrisnya, jadi mohon dimaklumi.

Jadi.... yang mau gw ceritain kali ini adalah pemikiran yang terpicu oleh saat dimana salah satu relatives gw meng-add gw di Blackberry Messenger (maap ya eike masih pake BBM). Dan seperti biasa selalu diawali dengan basa-basi. She asked how I'm doing, whether I still remember who she is or not, bla bla bla, dan sampai akhirnya keluarlah statement ini... "ade udah gede ya. Pasti sekarang udah punya pacar..."

BAM!

"...udah gede ya. Pasti sekarang udah punya pacar..."

Somehow, kalimat itu tuh meng-imply, kalo udah gede, kita harus punya pacar (well that's how I perceived it, but I may be wrong too).  Dan pada saat itu juga, I went to antara kasian dan kesal karena ternyata masih ada orang yang berpola pikir seperti itu. Pola pikir seperti apa? Seakan-akan tujuan kita menjadi lebih tua (atau mungkin mereka pikir lebih dewasa) adalah hanya untuk mencari pasangan. Gw ga mau munafik by saying I don't want a boyfriend. I do. Tapi I know, at this age, hal itu bukanlah prioritas utama gw (dan pada saat yang bersamaan itu mungkin menjadi prioritas utama orang lain). Masih ada lebih banyak hal yang menjadi prioritas yang lebih utama di bandingkan hanya mencari pacar. Keluarga, studi, karir, semua itu harusnya datang sebelum pasangan.

I know I've talked about this a million times, tapi itu karena gw mau meyakinkan kalian semua yang membaca ini that it is perfectly okay to be single! Ga ada yang perlu kalian takutin & raguin hanya karena kalian single. Bahkan harusnya kalian berbahagia karena kalian masih diberikan waktu yang jauh lebih banyak untuk kalian membuat karya.

Jadi, pacaran prioritas keberapa Fem? Honestly, I don't know exactly where it is on my priority list right now. Tapi yang pasti, hal itu bukanlah fokus gw saat ini.

Ok, untuk kali gw bakal post dalam bahasa pertama gw, karena gw lagi males untuk translate ke Inggris (tapi yakin banget sih pasti bakal tetep ada sedikit kalimat-kalimat dalam bahasa Inggris). Anyways, jadi yang mau gw bahas hari ini apa sih? Well ini adalah suatu hal yang tiba-tiba muncul di pikiran gw.

Pernah ga sih kalian tuh bingung banget tentang suatu pilihan? Pernah ga kalian ada di situasi dimana lo lagi punya mimpi besar, cuman kayaknya lo ga bisa atau ga punya resources untuk mencapai mimpi kalian itu?  Gw sering banget. Waktu gw mau masuk kuliah, tentu aja gw pengen masuk uni ini uni itu, cuman emang keadaan finansial waktu itu ga memungkinkan buat gw masuk ke uni yang keren banget (karena yang keren itu biasanya mahal). Dan jangan salah artiin keren, keren disini maksud gw itu adalah keren dimana kampusnya menyediakan kurikulum yang bertaraf internasional, yang image nya udah cukup diketahui dan emang istilahnya jebolan uni itu tuh pasti bakal dapat kerja deh. So there I am, with my dreams, pengen masuk disana sini, dengan satu uni yang jadi target utama gw.

Terus udah di keadaan dengan banyaknya pilihan, kita seringkali jadi bingung, mau ngikutin kemauan utama kita ato serahin ke Tuhan. Seringkali sih kita bilang, terserah Tuhan deh mau bawa kemana,  tapi sadar ga sadar, dibalik perkataan itu sebenarnya ada sebuah pesan dimana kita sebenarnya mau bilang gini, Tuhan gw mau kesini nih, tolong buat jadi nyata yah. PADAHAL, tujuan atau target utama kita itu BUKAN rencana Tuhan.

Kenapa? Karena kita keseringan ngelihat dengan kacamata manusia. Maksudnya apa? Maksudnya adalah kita terlalu sering melihat dengan cara pandang manusia, kita melihat penilaian manusia. Karena dunia ini mengatakan A itu yang terbaik, jadi kita juga mau dapetin A. But it doesn't work that way with God.

Tuhan punya rencana yang jauh lebih indah dibandingkan dengan rencana manusia! Apa yang menurut manusia terbaik, belum tentu yang terbaik untuk kita menurut Tuhan. Emang yang bakal kita dapetin itu bisa dinilai manusia sebagai hal yang biasa-biasa aja, nilainya masih ga bagus-bagus banget. Tapi rencana Tuhan ga berhenti disitu. Hidup kita udah dirancang sedemikian rupa oleh Tuhan, bahkan sampai nafas terakhir kita udah Tuhan rancang. Dan gw yakin banget, segala sesuatu pasti dimulai dari hal yang kecil, hal yang sederhana, hal yang dinilai manusia sebagai sesuatu yang sama sekali ga wah, tapi dibelakang itu semua, ada rancangan yang lebih mulia.

Terus gimana dong? Kalo emang kayak gitu, apa yang seharusnya gw lakuin? My answer would be, fast, pray and ask Him! Dan sebenarnya ini adalah point terpenting. Kenapa? Kadang kita cuma bilang aja, terserah Tuhan mau dibawa kemana, tapi kita ga pernah actually berdoa dan nanya ke Tuhan, Dia maunya bawa kita kemana. Bener ga? Kita cuma bilang doang di mulut kita terserah Tuhan, tapi kita ga pernah bener-bener berdoa dan nanya ke Tuhan! Dan kenapa puasa? kata om Ronny D. Simeon, puasa adalah saat dimana kita menempatkan diri kita pada frekuensi yang sama dengan Tuhan supaya kita bisa mendengar apa kata Tuhan.

Kita ini bukan tuhan, jadi kita ga bakal bisa tahu apa mau Tuhan kalo kita ga tanya sama Dia! Tanya deh, pasti dijawab, ga mungkin engga. Jalan Tuhan itu ga ada yang tahu arahnya kemana, terus lewat mana. Rencana Tuhan itu kayak sebuah petualangan menjelajahi hal baru. Jadi daripada kita ngerasain apa yang udah orang lain rasain, kenapa ga kita ikutin apa kata Tuhan, dan ngerasain hal-hal yang belum pernah orang lain rasain sebelumnya.

Jadi, gw ga boleh bermimpi gitu? No. Feel free to have big dreams! Tapi inget, jangan paksa Tuhan untuk me-realize mimpi kita, yang ternyata bukan rencanaNya. Just tell Him what we want. Dan ingat, selalu bersyukur dengan apapun yang Ia berikan. Apa yang dinilai manusia ga berharga, bisa jadi adalah suatu hal yang sangat berharga bagi Tuhan.

happy sunday all.
love, femme.

I have been single for years. And I realized that being single wasn't so bad after all. I also learn a lot from being single. Many people think the adolescent years, or during your teenage years, you should be having fun, having boyfriends or girlfriends, hang out with your friends, and things like that. And when you have done that, that's when they say that you are enjoying life. But I personally think that that is a very narrow way to think of how you should live your life.

I often hear girls complain whenever they are in the single status, because they think when they're single their popularity degrades, they are no longer the "it" girls, or in Indonesia they would say, "Lo ga gaul!" Well, after being single for years (in my teenage years) I realize that this is a totally wrong perception or mindset. There is nothing wrong with being single. Yes you might feel lonely at sometime, you might be jealous of your friends who have those special person who supports in them in what they do, but don't we remember that even before we met our boyfriends and girlfriends, even before we met our friends, our family is already there first for us. They're the ones who always stand up for us, through the goods and the bad. This is actually why I enjoy being a single girl up until now (and still committing to be one until I graduate from my bachelor's degree).

But the question that pops in your mind would probably be, why remain single when can be in a  relationship? That's a nice questions! Well let me tell you why

1. You have more time to spend with your family -The best thing that you can spend on your family is TIME. My own principle of life is that spend as much as time with your family, because you don't when you're going to be separated from them. I have been living with this principle even before my dad passed away, which is why I'm more of a home-person or family-oriented person.

2. You can try new things - Maybe some of you who are reading this second reason is thinking, "well we can try new things with our boyfriend/girlfriend," but the question I want to ask you back is that, is your boyfriend/girlfriend seriously willing to try those new things with you? What if they hate that new thing you want to try? See, you don't know for sure. And rather than being in uncertainty of whether you're going to be in accordance with your partner, I suggest you try things by yourself. Right?

3. You have more time to do things of your own - During our adolescent years, we need to be able to do a lot of things, and I believe that we can only achieve it if we don't spend too much time being with your boyfriend/girlfriend (especially when you have an overly attached boyfriend/girlfriend, definitely UGH!). For example like me right now, I get to join a lot of organizations and clubs and through that I can experience lots of things that maybe I won't be experiencing if I had a boyfriend. And I do believe it is not a waste of time to actually be a part of all these organizations, since there are so many things that aren't taught theoretically and can only be gained by doing it.

4. You don't want to go through broken-heart moments hundred times - As far as I know, many of the girls who go through break-ups takes quite some time to "recover". But my point is, if you could safe your heart from hundreds of break-ups then why not? Because crying for a guy who will not be our wedded husband is a definite waste of time (but this doesn't apply to our father, because girls, he will always be your number one man! :) ).

Well I hope those reasons above might convince to spending your time to yourself first~ Do leave a comment about what you think personally on being single.

xoxo,
Femme 😘

From emptiness to fullness!
Ruth 1
Mahlon: sickly
Chilion: weak or consumptive
Elimelech: my God is my King
God's blessing is progressive. Make sure there's King in our life!
Our God is a God of unusual kindness. Sow unusual kindness. Two outcomes of a process; better OR bitter. Which one are you? Our God is a God of fullness. Dalam Tuhan kita harus siap menerima kelimpahan.
1. Be committed! Make decisions!
There's always risk to commitment. Be a (calculated) risk-taker. Committed and decisive.
Eve: life-giver
Ruth 2
2. Be diligent!
Ruth 3
3. Be submitted!
Provision (supply), protection, promotion: qualities of a husband. Good, godly, gentle man.
Ruth 4
4. Be blessed! Blessed to bless

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.
1. Eternal Home2 Corinthians 5:11
The Ministry of Reconciliation
Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others. But what we are is known to God, and I hope it is known also to your conscience.
2 Corinthians 5:10
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.
2. Reward
Ephesians 6:8
knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free.
1 Corinthians 15:51-52
Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed.
3. Tubuh Kemuliaan

The Spring of Unusual Kindness

The number '13' is NOT a bad-luck number! This year we will be success, prosperous and healthy!

Psalms 23:6
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

We are never alone. God's goodness and mercy will always be with us.
3 aspects of God's way of protecting His children;
1. Pelestarian
Psalms 36:6
Thy righteousness is like the great mountains;
thy judgments are a great deep:
O Lord, thou preservest man and beast.
2. Penyediaan
1 Samuel 7:12
Then Samuel took a stone, and set it between Mizpeh and Shen, and called the name of it Ebenezer, saying, Hitherto hath the Lord helped us.
3. Pemerintahan Kerajaan Allah
Hidup kita harus memiliki prioritas dan prioritas utama kita adalah Matius 6:33
Bergantung kepada Tuhan!

Shalom
1. Keserasian
2. Keuntungan
3. Kebaikan
4. Kesejahteraan
5. Keberhasilan dalam segala bidang kehidupan
Isaiah 48:18
O that thou hadst hearkened to my commandments! then had thy peace been as a river, and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea:
Romans 14:17

In Jesus there's everything, we just need to dig it! Kita ini berharga karena kita masih hidup.
Philippians 3:10
My goal is to know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death,
1. Perlu pengenalan lebih dalam tentang Yesus
This world has a "pulling" spirit. It always pulls us towards evil. Yesus adalah Tuhan yang sesungguhnya. Bangun iman berdasarkan Firman Tuhan.
Colossians 3:5
Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
2. Matikan keinginan daging
Antara mendapatkan dan memelihara sama pentingnya. Keinginan daging = SAMPAH! Iblis tidak bisa curi Yesus yang ada dalam diri kita. Yesus cuma bisa keluar dari diri kita kalau kita yang menolak Yesus.
3. Perlu membuat hidup seimbang
Terpelihara = mengurus.
1 Thessalonians 5:23
And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

1. Fear the Lord
2. Accept His words and keeping it in our heart. Don't let it go by just like that.
3. Filter what we hear. Don't live by what other people say, but by what He says
Relationship with the Lord~
Wisdom can't be gained. It is a gift from the Lord so ask for it.
Holiness is a must. We live by God's grace. Karunia untuk membedakan orang dan menghadapinya dalam berbagai situation.

How often do you hear your friends who are in a relationship, or maybe having a crush on someone, say this, "oh man, i miss him/her so much" etc? Quite often? Me too.

Well this time I want to talk about feelings. What about feelings? Believe it or not, you can actually control your feelings. Yes, I did write (or might say in writing), that you can control your feelings. Situations and conditions around us won't actually make the decision for us, it will only drive us towards another situation. LOVING and MISSING is a verb, it is an action, an involuntary action. Unlike our heart that beats by itself. We love and we miss someone because we decided to. Yes! It's true. Wanna know why? Try to picture this, you know person A and person B. Person A  is the type of person that you really like, you have fun with them, you make jokes with them, etc. While person B has the attitudes that you do not like, for example real bad procrastination, or snobby. etc. Now it may seem like you like person A and you don't like person B here right? But actually, that's because you decided to do so. You decided to like and hangout with person A because they maybe have the same personalities as you do, and since person B doesn't, you decided not to like them.

But what if, you still like person B even though their personalities are different from yours? That means, you can decide who you love and hate right? See where I'm getting to now? If you do then great.

So, why am I talking about this all of sudden? Well I sometimes find people tell me that they can't move on. Move on from what? From the people that they love. They think that their brain is already refusing to do so, but their hearts still wants to love those people. And after that they get stuck in this situation where they hurt (or maybe stupefying) themselves.

This love thing is actually is just like other sad stories of life, but people often exaggerates it, because they say it deals with feelings. So what? Everything deals with the heart too guys, nothing doesn't. I mean, you all heard of the saying, "the problem does not matter. what matters is your respond to the problem." You may fall, So in this case, the people you love does not matter. How you decide to love them is what matters.

So please, guys and girls, if they don't love you, or you know that you're not suppose to be with them, just get it over with. You can do it.

A vintage cafe

Earl Grey or English Breakfast Tea

Or maybe you'd prefer some cappuccino

Rain drops

Books

And pets that you can bring along

Quality-chats

Cafe in Devon, Southern England - Photo from here

Ukraine - Photo from here

Photo from here

Waterfront Cafe in Greece - Photo from here